I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away. But baby, I just need one good one to stay || #2 ||

I am lying on the cold bed waiting for your call which never comes.
Sleepless nights in your bedroom, my tears never seem to dry up.
The pillow still adorned with your poison and my blues, which we used to share once.

I stare at the darkness, miserably losing, waiting for you to materialize but it isn’t until the sun burns the azure horizon golden that you enter the house, drugs in your veins.
And yet, I let you in; housing the inferno that’d burn me slowly too, waiting for you to sober up, as you drain cigarettes after cigarettes.

And, when you finally look at me draped in your once favourite  dress, I know the hunger in your eyes screaming for sex.
All your grunts are just desire; passion lost somewhere when you stopped holding my hand while we crossed a busy street.

A hollow grief breathes another monotonous sigh of exhaustion.
It is all I am capable of now.
The corner of my eye catches you pouring the thousandth whiskey down your throat as you walk out of the room, laughing over the phone.

Instantaneously, that ravishing smile melts away the heart that so badly wants to give up on you.
On us.

I know all about your late night meetings and the business trips you hide behind.
Because, I’ve always known you a bit too well for you to hide.

I know your brown eyes and the creases that forms around it when you laugh a bit too hard.
The square jaw that tightens when fury makes it’s way to your face.
And, the soul beneath the skin and flesh that’s hurting itself to not hurt me by confessing it’s mundane mistake – The secret liaison that gives you solace.

I know it all.
A bit too vividly to act like it’s unseen.

And, I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away.
But, baby I just need one good one to stay.

And, I find that in the day we met.
A flashback of promises that are starting to appear unkempt.
But my heart was given away and even if I want to, I can’t unlove you.
And, I know that is probably insane.

And, we are both dying a little everyday –
when you lie and, I pretend to naively accept.

But, am secretly laughing at discovering everyday what actually love is like,
where we are candles silently burning to give each other light.

---

Muse : Million Reasons 

Suggestion Courtesy : Rupsha Ghosh

Go follow my love – The mesmerizing Bong Beauty with an enchanting feed on instagram.
And, SPAM WITH HEARTS! – @ghoshrupsha 

 

 

Stay tuned for more posts this June & July!

Read. Smile. Shine.

Until Next Time

Au Revoir ❤